


Never Gonna Fall In Love Again

by slash4femme



Series: Never Gonna to Fall in Love Again [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Biting, M/M, Rimming, Sex, or at least McCoy is awkward, people being awkwardly attracted to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:26:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1382398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slash4femme/pseuds/slash4femme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>coming together in pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Gonna Fall In Love Again

**Author's Note:**

> originally written in October 2009. I do not change/edit my older work, merely upload it here.
> 
> written for [this prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/4765.html?thread=13733533) at st_xi_kink. beta read by [](http://cardiac-logic.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://cardiac-logic.livejournal.com/) **cardiac_logic**  who is wonderful. I think I'm in love with this pairing.

I.

The new McCoy - with a young man’s body and eyes that are much too old, who laughs the way Spock remembers and gives easily to everyone - is both incredibly different and exactly the same as the man Spock had known. The first time Spock had met this man he’d thought that either this McCoy was taller than the other or he had gotten smaller himself. Given his age, the latter was a distinct possibly; either way it was disconcerting to be looking up at McCoy, at least until the man smiled, then Spock was lost.

“Ambassador.” McCoy had called him with grave politeness.

“Doctor.” Spock had told him, folding his hand inside his robes, “Call me Spock, if it is not too confusing for you.”

“So you get to call me by my title but I have to call you by your first name?” McCoy raises his eyebrows and Spock allows himself to smile with his eyes.

“I believe, Doctor, that life is not always fair.”

McCoy stares at him startled for a moment, then slowly grins.

They get along remarkably well, he and this new McCoy. He had mellowed a great deal with age and learned to understand humans in a way he never had when he was younger. The Enterprise crew is stationed on New Vulcan to help with rebuilding before starting the five-year mission. One long night of heated argument over scientific theory in the beginning of the crew’s stay turns into tea and discussion everyday after the Doctor gets off duty at the New Vulcan Central Hospital.Spock truly enjoys serving the Doctor tea and talking with him about science, medicine, literature, or Starfleet politics. McCoy’s company had always been stimulating.

“Do you and my younger self talk much?” Spock asks once, sipping his tea and motioning with one hand.

McCoy crosses his arms across his chest, “Yes, sometimes, not a lot though, I have to say, the younger you is just very quiet.”

“But we do not argue?”

McCoy frowns “Well _we_ argue all the time, but the other Spock and me . . . the other Spock barely talks, much less argues.” 

“He is young, confused and grieving.” Spock says more to himself than McCoy and McCoy watches him but says nothing.

 

II.

“What was I like in your time?” They are slowly walking in the gardens of New Vulcan’s one and only hospital. Not so much because of his age, he is old even for a Vulcan but he is in good shape and more than capable of handling a slow stroll, but more because McCoy seems to feel the need to stop and look at every flower that’s native to the planet. Spock had almost forgotten that the Doctor’s curiosity more than equaled his own.

“Very much as you are,” he tells him frankly, “although I did not meet him until he was a little older than you are now.” He pauses for a moment and thinks about it, “His eyes were also bluer.”

“And you two were close?” McCoy asks, fingering a fern-like plant and not looking at him, “Especially at the end, you were there?”

Spock frowns ever so slightly “Yes, we were always close, you and I, although not in a romantic sense.”

McCoy looks up sharply at that and gives him a long calculating look that Spock still can’t quite read. They walk a few paces in silence before McCoy turns to him. “Would it be alright with you if I bought you lunch?”Spock is a little taken aback by the request, and McCoy tilts his head to one side slightly, “Because I’m hungry and it seems damn unfair to make you stand there and watch me eat.” Spock looks up at him and sees the laughter behind McCoy’s eyes and the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and knows he’s being laughed at. He goes warm, but manages to control himself and only nods, “Of course, Doctor.”

McCoy nods right back and leads the way to his ground car.

 

III.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Spock turns to McCoy from where he’s been setting out the tea on his patio, “it’s just that I’ve been reading up on my Vulcan biology, working here, and then serving with Spock - the other Spock.” McCoy makes a gesture that seems to be his own personal body language sign for the younger Spock. “I know Vulcans don’t do well with the cold; New Vulcan is a little colder than the old one and we’ve already had a couple cases of exposure.” McCoy takes his teacup and blows across the top to cool it. “So I’ve been wondering, how the hell did you keep from freezing to death on Delta Vega?”

Spock sits and thinks seriously about the question, “I believe it was a mixture of natural fortitude and stubbornness.”

He watches the corners of McCoy’s eyes crinkle as he laughs. McCoy’s eyes look like a mixture of green and gold in the shadow but turn a startling blue in direct light.

“It was very cold,” he acknowledges. “It took me quite a while to feel truly warm again.”

McCoy reaches across the table and clasps Spock’s arm for a minute. He’s careful not to touch his hands or his wrist below the sleeve of his robe, Spock notes. A testament to the Doctor’s time among Vulcans, and Spock cannot help but feel pleased.

When McCoy leaves with the rest of the crew, Spock gives the Doctor a set of tea cups and is once more pleased when McCoy smiles.

 

IV.

Spock’s life on New Vulcan becomes a comfortable pattern. He eats dinner with his father at least once a week. He sits on the Vulcan High Council, something that privately amuses him greatly; he conducts his own research and helps rebuild the Vulcan community. He grows a small garden out behind his house, which he thinks would have pleased his mother, and reads Earth poetry, which would please McCoy. He argues with Starfleet, making it clear he understands how they work and will not let them talk their way out of giving New Vulcan the support it needs.

Even so, he is gratified to hear that the Enterprise is making a stop to drop off medical supplies. It does not take him long to find the small group, Kirk bouncing back on his heels, McCoy arguing with a young Vulcan doctor, and his younger self, hands clasped behind his back, watching it all. Spock intends merely to watch the familiar sight, but McCoy spots him almost immediately.

“Spock.” The younger man moves towards him with purpose, and Spock leans against his ground car and waits. “How have you been?”McCoy looks like he’s torn between reaching out and clasping Spock’s arm and whipping out his tricorder, so instead clasps his hands behind his back.

“I have been well,” Spock tells him, and McCoy nods, then gives into temptation and takes out his medical tricorder anyway. Spock permits the Doctor to scan him and McCoy reads the tricorder and then puts it way again. “I trust you are satisfied I am telling the truth.” Spock arches one eyebrow and McCoy glares at him.

“Knowing you, you’d probably tell me you were fine even if you’d had one leg bitten off.”

“Now that would be highly illogical. Besides,” Spock allows the corners of his eyes to crinkle a little in a Vulcan smile, “I know better than to ever attempt to lie to you about my health.”

“Damn straight.” McCoy leans next to him against the car. For a few long minutes they stand there in silence, which is surprisingly not at all awkward for either of them, and finally McCoy straightens. “I have to finish up here, but afterwards would you mind if I came by your house?”

“Of course not.” Spock inclines his head slightly. “You are always welcome.”

McCoy only nods, then turns and heads back towards his shipmates.

 

V.

McCoy arrives at Spock’s house several hours later in a ground car he must have rented. Spock had been meditating, but he comes and keys open the door when McCoy knocks. McCoy is no longer dressed in his uniform but instead is in jeans and a t-shirt, carrying two bags.

“I picked up food,” McCoy carries the bags back into the kitchen, “and I’m making you dinner.”

“This is really unnecessary, Doctor.” Spock follows the other man into the kitchen.

“Yeah,” McCoy smiles slightly over his shoulder at him and starts unpacking vegetables, “I know, but I’m not doing it because it’s necessary, I’m doing it because I want to. ”

“Most illogical.” That receives the laugh Spock had been hoping for.

“Yeah well, no surprise there.” McCoy waves the knife he’s using to cut up a purple tuber at Spock.

“Indeed.” Spock sits at the table watching McCoy work, and McCoy grins at him.

“See, now I know you’re just tryin’ to wind me up.”

It being the truth, Spock has no answer to that, and he squints at McCoy as he transfers the vegetables from chopping board to pan. “Doctor, what are you making?”

“I have no idea,” McCoy tells him, and Spock stands and comes around the table to take the pan away from him. McCoy leans against the counter and watches Spock move expertly around the kitchen, getting out spices and the Earth pasta McCoy had always liked.

“You and Uhura are together, you know.”

Spock looks over at him and McCoy makes a gesture in the air, “The other you, obviously.”

“So I have heard.”Spock turns on the heating element, sets the pan on it and fills a pot of water.

“They seem happy enough,” McCoy crosses his arms over his chest.

“And the Captain?” Spock turns towards him and crosses his arms, unconsciously mimicking McCoy’s pose.

“Well you know, Jim’s Jim.” McCoy rolls his eyes and sighs, dragging one hand across his face, for a moment looking much older than Spock knows he is. “It’s all I can do most days to make sure both of you stay in one piece.”

The water boils and Spock turns back to add the pasta.

Dinner ends up being good, and they both enjoy it. Spock makes them coffee afterwards, causing McCoy to quirk an eyebrow at him.

“The other version wouldn’t touch coffee, unless I made it a medical order.”

“The other version of myself will learn to appreciate it in time.” Spock pours them both a cup. They take their coffee into Spock’s main room and sit on the couch.

“It occurs to me,” Spock says gently, not sure how fragile the ground he’s going out on is, “that you have never mentioned Joanna.”

McCoy’s head snaps up at this and their eyes meet.

“I am assuming she does exist.” Spock keeps his voice quiet and gentle and sips his coffee before setting it aside. “I would inquire if she is well.”

“She’s fine.” McCoy sighs and looks at his hands for a moment, toying with his coffee cup, “Lives with her mother; she’s going to be six soon.”

Spock nods, “You miss her.”

“Yes,” McCoy sets his cup aside too, “God yes.”

McCoy rests his chin on one fist and looks down at his cup on the table. "I fucked it up, with her mother, and I didn't know how to fix it, so I just kept making it worse and making it worse. Then it occurred to me one day that this wasn't any kind of way to raise a child." He sighs, "one of us had to give it up and walk away, Jocelyn never would so I did. I didn't want to fight over her like she was the house or the ground car. I didn't want to fight at all." For a long moment neither of them speak, and McCoy looks down at the floor, "it was the wrong choice," He says very softly.  
  
Spock very much wants to reach out and touch the other man’s face - offer the comfort he’s spent two life times denying.

“Spock?” Spock looks up and meets McCoy’s eyes, which have gone impossibly dark. “Oh to hell with it,” McCoy says more to himself than Spock, and next thing Spock knows McCoy’s hand is gripping his wrist.

Spock watches as McCoy lifts Spock’s hand and then takes it between both of McCoy’s wide, rough palms against his own palm. McCoy’s fingers slide up Spock’s and curl around the tips of Spock’s fingers.

“Doctor,” Spock’s having a hard time thinking as McCoy’s fingers stroke down the back of his hand, McCoy’s fingers twisting with his, “Doctor.”

“Leonard.” McCoy’s voice is rough, in a way Spock has never heard it before. “It’s Leonard, Spock.”

“Leonard,” it’s hard for him to say it, after so very many decades of denying himself this, “please think.”

“I am thinking.” McCoy’s free hand comes up to stroke across the side of Spock’s face, trace up one long ear, stroke across Spock’s grey hair, “God help me I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this since we left New Vulcan the last time.” McCoy’s hand strokes back down to trace Spock’s ear again and it takes every ounce of control Spock possesses not to gasp. “Just say no.” McCoy is so close, Spock can feel his breath against Spock’s cheek, and smell coffee and spicy cologne, “Just say something, anything, and this’ll never happen.”

“Leonard . . .”

“Yeah, Spock?”

Spock isn’t even conscious of moving when he closes the distance between them and kisses McCoy on the lips. For a moment they just cling to each other and then McCoy groans and opens his mouth underneath Spock’s, his hands moving away from Spock’s to roam across Spock’s body. Spock gently touches McCoy’s bottom lip with his tongue but doesn’t deepen the kiss and after a minute McCoy pulls away with a sigh.

“For God’s sake, Spock, do I need to draw you a map? Kiss me like you mean it, or tell me to get lost.”

Spock’s eyes narrow and he takes the other man by the shoulders and kisses him hard, not even hesitating to deepen the kiss and press into McCoy’s mouth, mapping it out. When they pull away they are both panting, and Spock strokes across the back of McCoy’s hands, traces up his fingers, tangles their fingers together, rubbing small circles across McCoy’s palms with his thumbs. McCoy presses up against Spock, pressing their bodies together, kissing across Spock’s neck and face.

“If you want anything more from me we will have to move, Leonard.”Spock kisses McCoy lightly and manages not to gasp when McCoy lifts their joined hands and brushes his lips across Spock’s knuckles. “I cannot have sex on a couch.”

“Yeah,” McCoy pushes lightly on Spock’s shoulder, “lets move.”

Spock stands and watches McCoy also stand, smoothing down his t-shirt. McCoy smiles at him and then reaches forward, taking Spock around the waist and pulling him close into another kiss. Spock entwines their fingers again and pulls McCoy towards his bedroom.

“I’ve got to tell you,” McCoy is right behind him, breath on the back of Spock’s neck, voice deep and rough, “I am hoping you’re going to fuck me, but if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen.” Spock has another one of those moments where he acts instead of thinks, pushing McCoy against the closest wall and kissing him hard. “Yeah, I’ll take that as a yes.” McCoy’s breathing becomes shallow and he reaches up one large hand, cups Spock’s head and kisses him back.

Spock manages to get the door to his bedroom open and they both make it to the bed before Spock yanks McCoy’ s t-shirt off and throws it across the room. McCoy begins to struggle with Spock’s robes and after several failed attempts, growls softly and just yanks. Spock takes a step back before McCoy manages to actually rip something and manages to strip himself while McCoy leans back, kicking off his boots and unbuttoning his jeans. He pulls off his socks and kicks off his jeans before looking back up at Spock, and for a minute just stares.

“God,” McCoy holds out his hands to Spock, “come here.”

He pulls Spock down on top of him and kisses the other man, running his hands down Spock’s chest, tangling his fingers in the steel grey hair there. Spock kisses across McCoy’s face, kisses down his neck, biting him lightly there. He kisses across the other man’s broad chest, noting the very little body hair, before kissing down McCoy’s stomach. McCoy spreads his legs willingly and Spock comes to lie between them and kisses the inside of one of McCoy’s thighs.

“Leonard?”He looks up at the other man and McCoy smiles at him, brushes one hand across his cheek.

“It’s good, Spock, feels so good.”Spock nods once and licks across the soft crease where McCoy’s thigh meets hip.McCoy fists his hands into the blankets.

“Spock . . .”

Spock kisses the inside of McCoy’s thigh. “Patience, Leonard, is a great virtue,” Spock informs him, serious. McCoy’s eyes narrow and he draws in breath through his nose, and Spock does not smile but he does slide lower, nuzzling behind McCoy’s balls, licking him right there. All of the air McCoy had sucked in comes out in a gasp. He raises his legs to give Spock more room and Spock licks at the sensitive skin. He gently teases McCoy before pushing forward. McCoy groans when Spock’s tongue penetrates him, and he can’t help but try and push his hips forward, only to be stopped when Spock’s hands clamp around his hips, keeping him in place. Spock pulls back a little to lick a wide path from McCoy’s balls down, before pressing back inside of him again.

“Spock . . .damn it, please, I . . .” McCoy’s hand presses against Spock’s shoulder, pulls him up, and Spock bites hard on McCoy’s neck, licks the spot and then bites him again. He rubs the spot with his fingers, watches it bruise.

“Lube, Spock?” Spock pushes himself up and reaches across McCoy to the bedside table, comes back with a bottle which he throws on the bed. McCoy only raises one eyebrow at him before pushing Spock back on the bed. He lowers his head briefly to lick across the head of Spock’s erection before stroking it with one slick hand. Spock closes his eyes and sighs as McCoy straddles his thighs, then opens his eyes again as McCoy presses down; cool, slick, and so good. Spock’s hands go to McCoy’s hips, steady him until the other man has pressed all the way down. McCoy takes a moment to gasp for breath, before covering one of Spock’s hands with his own and gently removing it from his own hip. He brings it up to his mouth and licks across the fingers before biting gently at it, then sucking one long finger into his mouth. Spock actually gasps, and McCoy mutters something softly around the fingers, and then groans when Spock thrusts up.

“Leonard, move.”

McCoy does, rising up and then pushing down to meet Spock’s own thrusts, and Spock presses his finger firmly into the other man’s mouth, presses it deeper in time to every thrust, until he’s lost track of everything except McCoy above. His own orgasm takes him completely by surprise, and McCoy swears, hips thrusting out of control, without any actual pattern or rhythm until he comes across both of their stomachs. McCoy collapses down on top of the older man, then rolls to one side.

“Jesus Fucking Christ!”

“Indeed.”

McCoy smacks him very lightly on the upper arm. After several long minutes McCoy groans, then pushes himself up and stands, making his way across the room.

“The bathroom is the door on the left,” Spock tells him, and McCoy nods and then is back a couple minutes later with a damp cloth. He cleans Spock off with it and then throws it on the floor with the rest of their clothes. McCoy gets back on the bed and curls himself around Spock. “How long are you staying?”

Spock strokes across McCoy’s shoulder, up to his face, brushes his fingertips across McCoy’s lips.

“A couple days.” McCoy kisses along Spock’s fingertips. Spock nods, then pushes himself up to look down at McCoy, watching his eyes.

“I would like to mind meld with you, Leonard,” he tells him carefully, “but only if you are willing.”

McCoy watches him, then reaches up to touch Spock’s face, “Sure.”

There is no fear or hesitation, and for a moment Spock feels grief hit him like a wall for the things that had been done and still might be. He reaches up, touching McCoy’s face, finding the points with ease.

McCoy’s mind is a slow, gentle build of heat and color without being overwhelming, and Spock thinks he might have sighed as he sinks down into it. _You worry too much_ , McCoy tells him inside both their minds, _that’s supposed to be my job, remember?_

_We have a few days,_ Spock presses their foreheads together.

_I will come back,_ McCoy grips Spock’s shoulders tightly,  _I swear to you I will come back._

Spock breaks the link and they both stare at each other for a long moment. McCoy reaches up and pulls Spock down to lie half on top of him. 

“We’ll be ok,” McCoy tells him, and Spock decides not to point out how illogical that statement is, and instead presses his face against McCoy’s chest and closes his eyes. 

 


End file.
